hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
