So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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