My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
