dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
