Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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