hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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