spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She's the barista slut.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
