Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
