i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
my liver is dry heaving
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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