he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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