Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
