Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
