Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
