Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
