There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
