Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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