hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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