Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
