Soap is not a condiment
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You made out with two different species that night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
