I CAN MOONWALK!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
