..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
