I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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