Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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