Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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