I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
