She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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