Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
