The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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