dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
