New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
