And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
