Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
