and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Who died my cat blue again?
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