some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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