I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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