No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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