Please, let me fuck your mom
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
