Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
