Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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