We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
