Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
