remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
