sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
