New game: find the sober person in Tbell
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
