She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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