Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
