If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
