maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
