So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
