those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Randomize
