you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
